100 Things About Me, Inspired By Collared Michael

So, I read Collared Michael’s post on my bus ride home, and it has me inspired to write 100 things about me. Some that will be on here are things I have mentioned in the past, so there will be familiarities. I’ll attempt to add things I haven’t mentioned before, and hopefully I won’t repeat any answers either.

1. I am a Rhode Islander. I was born here, loved here, and most likely will die here.

2. Unlike most Rhode Islanders, I am well traveled- I have been to 36 states (37, DC included), two provinces in Canada, and Iceland.

3. I am left handed. There only a couple of things I use my right hand for- cutting, musical instruments are about it.

4. I was born in 1981. This puts me in a weird position generation-wise, as most people group me with millennials, and others with Gen X. So whenever either group get put down, I feel personally attacked.

5. I am uncircumcised, which is something that I found out at a young age that not many boys in the United States can say about themselves. It’s a part of why I was always so nervous, shy, and afraid to be naked.

6. I used to think women only preferred circumcised men, but then I found that women mostly don’t care. And with that being the case, that shed away most of my fears of being naked.

7. I used to be self-conscious about my body hair. I would shave and wax a lot of it off. These days, I only shave my head (because of male pattern baldness), face, ass, and genitals.

8. When I was in school, I felt that I was good enough at French that I wanted to be a French teacher. I then took my third full year of French, which humbled me, and I realized that I did not have the right mental tools to be a teacher.

9. I switched my goals, and decided I wanted to work in radio- either as a personality or on a production team.

10. After switching schools, I decided tv/film production was a better option. I never went far with it other than getting my BA, and just became assistant photographer and videographer for my ex when she had shoots.

11. I thought about pursuing photography professionally, and was encouraged, but I didn’t feel that I would be good with handling people trying to haggle my rates.

12. I have a pretty eclectic taste in music. For the most part, I specifically listen to a couple different genres regularly though. Industrial, Brit/Euro pop, techno, and alternative when I work out, classical music when I drive the van for work. My only exceptions are most types of country, and modern hip hop.

13. I went through a dry spell with watching tv. From 1998-2012, the only show I regularly watched was Sex and the City. It was to fill the void Seinfeld left when it ended in 1998.

14. 2012 was a rough year for me. My mom was in the process of divorcing my stepdad, selling the house she grew up in as well as myself; my ex left me for her makeup artist; I got an OUI near my birthday because my “friend” took me out for drinks and left me at the bar; the only positive things that came out of that year was I started my second job, and my friend in Utah flew me out to visit her and her eventual husband. It was after the breakup, so she hooked up with me the whole time. It’s ok, she’s poly, her husband was ok with it.

15. I am bisexual, and I consider myself gender fluid. I identify as male, preferred pronouns are he/him. I should probably update my Fetlife profile at some point. I am attracted to women, men, trans men, and trans women. I would almost consider myself pansexual, but bisexual is more my fit. Gender fluid? I had to figure out if I meant genderqueer, but gender fluid is more accurate. I identify as male, have male parts, but in some cases I feel like I could be more female. I explained it a little in my clothing post.

16. I’m submissive. As far as I know, only with women. I’ve been S’ sub for three years. It’s been the best relationship for me, as I’ve been allowed to open up in ways I never thought possible, as well as discover things about myself that I never thought existed. I’ve always felt that women are, and should be, in charge of men. We are the weaker gender, and we will be better off once we all realize that and embrace it.

17. From the kink side, I have hard limits (scat, age play, humiliation), and there are things I’ve had an interest in that I would like to try (sounding, suspension bondage)

18. some of my favorite kinks include bondage, knife play, breath play (I love being choked), electro play, pegging, and anything involving paddles, sticks, thuddy objects impacting my ass.

19. Chastity has been one I wasn’t sure I could handle. I have gone days, weeks without masturbating in the past, but before being with S, I was a chronic masturbator. I’d run one out about two or three times every night. Right now, I’ve been without release since my birthday (August 18).

20. I have five tattoos- the Rhode Island state flag on the inside of my right arm; rainbow paint with “love” written in it; a FireWire symbol on my right wrist; an ampersand on my left pec; the constellation for Leo on my left leg. I plan on getting more, and have some solid ideas on what I want.

21. I have two piercings- my nipples. I count them as two separate piercings, because I have seen pics where some people only get one done. Why not both? I have hoops in, and I would like to get them a size bigger, but I’m still waiting on the right nipple to heal.

22. I want to get a PA next, before I decide to increase the nipple ring size. I’ve been doing some research, and asking questions on communities on Fetlife and elsewhere. I am all in to do it, it’s all about setting a date to get it done, having the money, and someone experienced in doing it on an uncut penis.

23. I like photography. It started when I worked at Ritz Camera, and I realize I mentioned pursuing pro photography, but I like it more as a hobby than anything. I used to have a DSLR, but lost the body in one of my many moves over the past seven years. I’ll buy a new one eventually.

24. I went through a phase where I was buying criterion collection DVDs. I think I still have them all, which is probably close to ten or twelve.

25. I still have a lot of my old toys from when I was a child- Transformers and GI Joes. Sadly, I had to dump my remaining He Man figures, the container they were in smelled of mold from being in the basement of the house I grew up in for years.

26. The Transformers animated movie from 1986 is still in my top five favorite movies. I still cry through the first twenty minutes of it. ::pours one out for the Autobots::

27. Seven years ago, I ended my dry spell with television. I began watching Doctor Who and The Walking Dead at the same time. These two shows helped me through my difficult year. They served as a distraction, as well as shows that had characters I could truly enjoy.

28. CBT is another kink I enjoy. I am being reminded at the moment, as S rests Her heel into my boy bits. I feel aroused, and things could get uncomfortable, but in a good way. My hard limits are kicking my balls or anything extreme, but I enjoy a good squeezing of them.

29. The best band I’ve seen live is Rammstein. They put on an amazing show. I went to the one in Worcester where they got arrested for indecent exposure.

30. The best performance I saw that wasn’t Rammstein was Chris Cornell while I was in Iceland. It was just him and an acoustic guitar. Occasionally they had this guy come on stage and play cello. It was amazing. And it was a year before his death.

31. I don’t go out to see movies much, but my favorite movie that I saw in theatres was Doctor Strange in 3D. That was visually mind-blowing.

32. A long term goal of mine is to go to all 50 states, and backpack through Europe. I have a lot of travel-oriented goals. I love traveling, and I’m glad I got back into doing so.

33. Another thing I have gotten more involved in as of late is politics. Since I turned 18, I have always seen myself as an Independent, but will vote Democrat when necessary. I’ve learned over the years that both Republicans and Democrats are kind of useless. This upcoming election, however, I will be voting for the Democrats. Just as long as it isn’t Biden winning the nomination from the primary.

34. Because of my interest in politics, I have become more aware of issues that impact not just me, but the people of the country. I’m working on donating more to charities, such as GLAAD, and signing petitions. Signing petitions doesn’t always help, but I like to think it does.

35. I was brought up Episcopalian. I don’t really care much for religion personally, but there are people who live and die by every word in their books of faith, which I find to be frightening. Those books and religions were made to keep the masses scared and stupid. Since I don’t much care for religion and voiced my stance, I would say if I had to choose, I’d probably go with either the one I was raised in (because they’re one of the most liberal Christian factions), or Buddhism.

36. I used to be a huge sports fan. The teams I followed were the Boston Red Sox, Boston Celtics, San Francisco 49ers, and Quebec Nordiques/Colorado Avalanche. These days, I casually follow sports, haven’t watched much on tv, and have pretty much given up on NFL/American football for various reasons. My interest in soccer/football and rugby has increased over the years, and I would like to get more involved in cricket. I guess I’m expanding on a more global level of sports interests.

37. I used to be a heavy drinker. I would have about four beers a night, occasionally a hard drink, or wine, or both, mixed in with my drinking routine. I wouldn’t necessarily crush the beers, as they would typically be very strong and pricey. No PBRs unless it was a bad pay week. Since being with S, I dropped from four drinks to one a night, then eventually to two a night on weekends, and a glass of wine paired with a special meal. It’s helped with keeping off the excess weight, but I’m still working on the belly.

38. I watched a lot of porn when I was younger, and single, as well as read erotic stories on Literotica. I created a profile and was planning on uploading some stories, but never got around to it. It’s on my to do list.

39. My preferred genres of porn would include: lesbian, BBW, natural and hairy (I grew up looking at my dad’s porn, and I prefer full bush), masturbation, some gay porn, exotic (Black, Asian, Latina). That’s just the soft core stuff. The kinkier side includes: watersports, period play, pegging, femdom, sounding, lactation, and trans (male or female). I guess you could put extremely hairy under kinky, even though I don’t think of excess female body hair as kinky. I love how it feels.

40. My ideal body type for a woman is different from most people I know. I like the curvier, thicker, heavier set women. Tattoos can be nice, if they’re tasteful. I like women that choose to throw away the razor, and encourage it with each partner I have had. I don’t discriminate against race, I like them all. I’d say my only bias would be blondes. I haven’t had a blonde girlfriend since my first girlfriend. That was 21 years ago. I have never been with anyone taller than me, but I never ruled it out.

41. My ideal body type for a man is hard to explain. Since I have never dated or hooked up with a man, I have no experience to work with. I don’t think a muscle head would work for me, and body hair could vary, but I think like myself, he should keep his boy bits and ass shaved or waxed. Tattoos can be nice, if they’re tasteful. I don’t have much of a bias on height here either, although his cock size can’t be too big, as this is still a new realm for me. I think 4″-6″ would be a nice start.

42. I have been living with ADHD and depression most of my life. Some days are better than others. In some cases, I’ll go to work depressed, once I’m done with the work day, depression tags in the ADHD, and the focus dies when I get home. Sometimes it’s the other way around. Other times, depression won’t show up for a couple days, other times it’ll linger. It’s frustrating for me because I never really thought of myself as ADHD, and over the past few years, it’s really become apparent that I have it.

43. I work out every weekday morning before my shift at work begins. I mentioned my routine in an earlier post, and I’m glad that I go to the gym. It gives me a chance to improve my physical strength, and focus positive energy on something, believing in myself.

44. I do not tolerate bigotry. If you feel you are better or more entitled than someone else because of your skin color, religion, ethnicity, or sexuality, then you can show yourself out. I will have none of that in my life.

45. My dad is racist, which is one reason why I haven’t spoken to him in 13 years. My mom, unfortunately, is as well, but she has been good enough to help me out with things in my life when it’s been shitty. I have been better at confronting her about her ignorance toward minorities. I haven’t told her yet, but if she votes for trump in 2020, I’ll fix her. Otherwise, she won’t be hearing from me for a long time. I still haven’t come out to her yet, but I figure she should know when the time is right.

46. My favorite president in my lifetime is Barack Obama. My least favorite is donald trump. It’s a three way tie between the Roosevelts and Abe Lincoln for favorite historical presidents, and a two way tie between Andrew Jackson and Andrew Johnson for least favorite historically.

47. I prefer Nintendo over the other gaming console companies. The games are enjoyable. The systems aren’t absolute shit. I could play Smash Bros all day and not get tired. I like a lot of SNES games, and the new game- Unnamed Goose Game- is hilarious.

48. I don’t drive anymore. I ride the bus, or catch rides with friends and family.

49. It’s getting harder to come up with things. I’m a pescatarian. That means I don’t eat land animals. That’s probably the easiest way to explain it.

50. When I get home from work, one thing I am supposed to do is get fully undressed and present my collar to S, so she can put it on me. I usually sit on the couch on a bath towel so I don’t sweat or get juices on the upholstery. Other times, I sit on a pillow or cushion on the floor. I think I might be getting more interested in the floor again, but I might want a bigger cushion if we make that happen.

51. I have a BA in Communications from RIC. I have yet to put it to good use. I sometimes think about going back to school, whether for certification or to get my master’s. I probably won’t, but it’s worth thinking about.

52. Going back to CBT and chastity, I was thinking about chastity cages. I haven’t researched them much, but that could be something I would be interested in down the road. That’ll be long after my PA piercing, unless S decides to surprise me one day.

53. I work two jobs- full time at an investment company, part time at a liquor store.

54. I have held the same job for 14 years, and while there, I have played for the recreational softball league for 13 of those years. I was a team captain for 9 years, and commissioner of the league for 8 years. The league doesn’t exist anymore. It was fun, but I guess it wore out its welcome.

55. Working at a liquor store has some excellent perks. I get a wholesale discount, and in some cases, if we get a large quantity of something unique, they stash some aside for the employees.

56. KBS, CBS, Bourbon County Stout are three examples of such an occurrence. We still have 4-packs of KBS and large bottles of CBS from the last batch.

57. I wish we could do the same thing with bourbon. I want another bottle of Eagle Rare- my favorite bourbon.

58. My favorite type of food is Indian.

59. I think Mexican and Italian are close second and third.

60. I used to hate onions. Until a couple years ago, I’d pick them out of my food. Now I don’t mind them, but raw onions are still a hard no.

61. I’ve been working on this list for a few days now.

62. I have Reynaud syndrome. It’s a blood circulation issue when temperatures get too cold, my fingers and toes turn white and I lose the feeling of them. It bothers me, but I always carry gloves, and wear thermal socks in the winter.

63. So, one of my tattoo ideas revolves around three things in Rhode Island- Del’s Lemonade, The Big Blue Bug, and Awful Awfuls. I think it’ll be on my right leg, just above the ankle, I want to get banding of the striping of a Del’s and Awful Awful cup, and the Big Blue Bug on it somewhere. It’s worth googling the items.

64. Another tattoo idea I’ve been floating in my head is a rope armband on my left arm. I want the rope to be in the bisexual flag colors. It symbolizes my love of rope, bondage, and bisexuality.

65. Another tattoo idea I have would be in the same area, male and female symbols interlocked with the bisexual crescents inside. I just looked it up and looks pretty cool.

66. I don’t think I want to be fully tattooed, but there are a lot of ideas I think would work nicely. Besides, as a pain slut, I won’t be able to show off how wonderfully S can mark me up.

67. Being in a new place, S’ health, and living with a dog, it makes it hard for us to carry on with the kink. My ass has been missing the feeling of impact play. I would like to be bruised again.

68. I tried smoking cigarettes, hated them. I used to smoke cloves, hookah, and cigars. Enjoyed cloves, hookah was ok, but certain cigars made me vomit. I don’t smoke them anymore, but my preferred brand was Nubs.

69. I prefer smoking weed. Not like I needed help with it, but I could sleep better, increase appetite and thirst, and in some cases, increased my horniness.

70. I don’t do hard drugs, but out of curiosity, I would try ecstasy or mushrooms, if offered.

71. I am not a gambler, but I buy a weekly draw of one of the local lotteries.

72. I would like to open up a community center for LGBT+ youth. It would act as a shelter for runaways who have been abandoned/disowned by their families because of who they are; there would be a cafe and learning center, and an activity room included. I think I would also include adults, but I would focus more on children. If I ever got the money, support, etc., I would like to make that happen.

73. I will never get tattoos above the shoulders, on my back, my ass, genitals, or on my stomach.

74. I don’t have children, but I would be open to adoption if S ever wanted to.

75. Revolving doors are a childhood fear of mine that, even though I’ve mostly overcome it, it still bothers me a bit. When people ask me what death in TWD was the worst for me, I always say Noah’s.

76. I’ve rewatched TWD at least eight or nine times, seasons 1-6. Since season 7, I’ve stopped rewatching. Mostly because I don’t have the free time anymore, but also because I don’t have the emotional energy to commit to nine seasons of television. When the series ends, however, I’ll binge the shit out of it.

77. Rick Grimes is probably one of a select few lead characters in television I’d consider my favorite in tv shows. Optimus Prime, Edmund Reid, and The Doctor would probably round out the rest.

78. Tyreese’s death was one of the saddest ones for me to watch on TWD. Ygritte was the only one that made me cry on GoT. Poussey’s death on OITNB devastated me.

79. Another tattoo idea: surrounding the ampersand, letters CMYK and LGBT, in the colors/flags each letter represents.

80. Our dog is named Ruggles. I suggested the name because long ago, when I was commuting to school in Boston, the train would pass through Ruggles Station. My first time hearing that, I thought, “That would be a good name for a dog,” and S agreed along with me.

81. Anytime someone says a number to me, I’ll automatically reply with “Ah, that’s my favorite number.” Half the time, I don’t get a reply. Most replies are “oh yeah?” Or “really?” And I’ll be like “Nah, I just say it is.”

82. I have been to four MLB ballparks. Safeco Field, PNC Park, Fenway Park, and Wrigley Field. From a distance, I have seen Camden Yards, Great American Ballpark, Shea Stadium (demolished), and Yankee Stadium. I’d like to see a game in all the MLB ballparks.

83. I consider myself a Marvel fan more than DC. I think the heroes, villains, and groups are more interesting in Marvel.

84. I just finished FTWD season finale. I’m not sure how I feel about where it left off. It feels like every season has a different villain, each one is more lame than the last.

85. I think I would like to go somewhere and get a manicure and pedicure. I think I would enjoy it. I’m not sure if I’d pick a color, I’d probably ask for a French.

86. The earliest biggest news story I remember from my childhood was the Challenger explosion. I had to check the date, I was four years old (would have been five later that year).

87. All this talk about impeachment has me thinking- what are we being distracted from? With all the talk surrounding spying on the Bidens, this has me thinking they’ll spin this as Joe Biden being a victim and find a way to make the country sympathize for him, and he ends up getting the Democratic nomination, which will cost the Dems the election.

88. The only teams I got emotionally charged for in championship games are the Boston Red Sox and San Francisco 49ers.

89. In kindergarten, I wrote “asshole” on my desk in crayon. My teacher kept me after for my grandmother to pick me up. A retired teacher from that same school, she came in, looked at it and said “At least he spelled it right,” took me home and it is probably my favorite story to tell about school.

90. I’ve been to numerous Star Trek conventions as a child. My favorite actor/actress? Either Nichelle Nichols, John DeLancie, or Michael Dorn. Least favorite: James Doohan- he was a prick.

91. Horror films are probably not my favorite film genre. However, out of all the franchises I’ve seen, Nightmare on Elm Street and Hellraiser are probably my favorites.

92. Beside concerts, I’ve been to a lot of comedy shows. My favorites were Chris Rock, Jim Gaffigan, and Greg Giraldo. Least favorite was Dave Attell- he was too messed up to perform since his friend Greg Giraldo died.

93. I’m not a fan of roller coasters, but rides that spin and go fast with minimal inclines and declines are fun.

94. I’m not sure if I said this before, but my favorite character to play as in Smash Bros. is Samus. Least favorite: Pichu

95. I don’t watch or even try to follow NFL anymore. Mostly non-football reasons- how they treated Kaepernick by nearly blacklisting him from the league for a stand he took against police brutality, yet rapists, abusers, etc., get a free pass/minimal punishment; they don’t care about the research of head injuries long term effects on players; they are treated like churches- never contribute taxes to the government.

96. I find it crazy how some tv shows and movies age well, and so many do not. Seinfeld, a show I loved so much as a teenager, is one that did not age well. Some episodes are still great, but there are some crazy judgmental bits, and so many white people in NYC! That’s not how NYC is.

97. Another show from that period is Friends. I think I was so confused as how someone who works in a cafe could afford the apartment she rented with another friend, in NYC. I went through moments where I watched a few episodes, but I never fully got hooked into it.

98. My dream would be to have enough money to quit my job and be S’ house boy. I’d be collared most of the time- exceptions being when we go out, and when I need to shower. We would have a house with a decent size yard, solid fence so neighbors can’t see- I would likely be naked with my collar, cuffs, and harness on, maybe a jockstrap on. I’d be doing house duties, and in my free time, I would be watching the shows that interest me, that S doesn’t like.

99. I get asked if I miss meat. Sometimes, I miss chicken wings, or the spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy’s.

100. Based on all the pets I’ve grown up with, I feel like I’m either a cat person or a dog person. I still haven’t figured out which yet.

Sexuality and Gender Norms

Next February will mark my three year anniversary of coming out as bisexual to my partner. I later on shared that information on my Twitter, and later on in the year, on Facebook, on coming out day. I haven’t come out to every person I know- I still have some coworkers who don’t know, and my mother. At some point, I will come out to them all, just has to be the right time.

So, I made the Clothing post a couple days ago, and I’d like to open up more about it. I like women’s clothing- dresses, skirts, thigh high socks, nylons to a point. I sometimes wondered why men could be ridiculed for wanting to wear a dress, skirt, panties, nylons, whatever. Thinking about this, my thoughts were, “could I be genderqueer or gender fluid?” I thought more about it because throughout my life, I’ve kind of had more interest in what would be more traditionally female interests. As a child, I liked boy and girl cartoons, played with boy and girl toys, and even had friends who were girls. I wasn’t good at connecting with boys at a young age, but girls I had a better chance with. It changed a bit when I got older. I liked home economics in middle school- cooking and sewing were two things I did exceptionally well at in that class. I tended to enjoy the music from female musicians (Garbage, Alanis Morissette, No Doubt examples). My favorite video game character is female- Samus Aran from Metroid. She was the first female lead character in video games.

Anyway, with that long story, I wanted to officially come out as gender fluid. I’ll explain myself a little more. For the most part, I am male. However, I like some things that would be traditionally female interests. I think of this as myself evolving and better understanding myself as a person. I’m not transitioning, just being more open about myself.

Weekend

So, one of the things I did Saturday was shave my boy bits for the first time in a few weeks. I wish I had taken a before picture, because the hair was growing in quite a bit. I hadn’t seen the hair in a while, I almost considered letting it go for another week or two, and see if I got any grey or white hairs. While I prefer hair on a woman’s parts, I as well as S, prefer my parts be clean shaven. I didn’t see any grey or white hairs, but it took longer than usual to shave, since the stubble grew longer than usual.

Later Saturday night Sunday morning, I woke up to pee, then went to bed. During dreaming, something told me to get up and pee again. When I went to pee, it took a while, which when I thought about it, meant I had a wet dream and caught it before I made a mess. I still had to pee anyway though, so I finished up and went back to bed.

Later that morning, I headed down and put on a t shirt and sweatpants. S made breakfast and we sat and ate. When we finished, S spread across the couch to lie down and relax, Her foot resting on my boy bits. I could feel myself getting hard, as I hadn’t had release since my birthday. She began to remove Her sweatpants, and by Her command, I helped out. I had a glorious view of Her crotch, and began to pet it. I kissed Her inner thighs, slipped my fingers under Her panties, and rubbed her pussy. I helped Her remove Her panties shortly after, and began kissing and licking Her. I moved one arm toward Her breast and began rubbing and playing with Her nipple. I was licking Her clit, and sucking on it, mimicking giving Her a blowjob. I could feel Her feet massaging my lower back, spreading my ass cheeks. I moved my ass up more, as though accepting to receive something. She was approaching climax, as I could feel Her thighs grip my head. Within a minute or so, She came, lifted Her leg as an indicator that She was done with me. I removed my clothes because it was weird for me to still be clothed at that point, and I lay next to her, curled up on the couch.

This was a good weekend for us.

Physical Activity

So, yesterday I got the notification that I have published 100 posts. Go me! With that off my chest, I wanted to also mention I have felt inspired to post more frequently, as I would go on every day and either forget to post due to being busy at work or home, or just felt like there wasn’t anything worth putting up here.

As I mentioned in my mental health post a while back, the primary focus of this blog is about my continuous evolution into a submissive way of life in a D/s relationship. I’m not a perfect sub, but I try my best to please S, and follow Her orders as best as I can. It can be challenging with my disadvantages (ADHD, Depression), but I have lived with them for most of my life.

One of my long term goals has been to get in good enough shape to be S’ eye candy. For the past two years (or close to it), I have been going to the gym every morning. I put in, on average, 35-40 minutes every morning. My starting weight when I went back regularly was around 195, and as of right now, I’m at around 172. I give around as part of the weight because not all scales are accurate, but I know that is the weight I measured when I started and most recently. I have a routine each day- four days of strength, and one day of cardio. Mondays are for shoulders, back, and chest- I do five sets of ten on a blend of free weights and cable machines (seven types of lifting). Tuesdays are for arms- bis, tris, and forearms- same number of sets and reps, blend of machines and free weights (seven or eight types of lifting). Wednesdays are for abs, core, glutes- 150 crunches on the cable machine (160lbs), 100 oblique lifts with a kettlebell each side, five or six various ab and glute exercises on a mat, and I end with a headstand, sometimes doing a leg/ab exercise while holding the headstand. Thursdays are for legs- squats/leg press, inner/outer thighs, dead lifts, and two exercises on the gliding discs. I also try to see how far I can go one the discs with a split, that has been progressing nicely. I finish leg day with more stretching than the other days, because I can’t deal with my legs having any tightness or cramping up. Fridays are for cardio- 30 minutes of focusing on one of three machines, or splitting between the three- rowing, stairs, and/or seated bike. Cardio feels like the one that takes the most out of me, as I almost feel like I will begin to cry near the end of each session. I also tend to cough more during cardio. I feel a lot of whatever junk built up coming out, and it’s challenging to just spit it out or blow your nose when you’re rowing or climbing stairs.

Over the span of working out that I have done, I am proud of my results so far, and I feel like I can continue to improve. I increase the weights occasionally when I feel like I could go heavier with whichever exercise it is I am doing (resistance number in cardio). I also have S to thank for putting me on Her Spotify account. I have added an interesting variety of bands and musicians on my workout playlist- Nine Inch Nails, Rammstein, Garbage, Daft Punk, Peaches, Kylie Minogue, Robbie Williams, Stabbing Westward, Scissor Sisters, and Robyn.

I enjoy my progress. I feel healthy. My belly tells me I’m still a work in progress, but I look and feel great regardless.

Furniture

I follow my standard routine of coming home from work, kissing S and asking about Her day. While She tells me, I undress, and help Her get dinner ready. I put my clothes in the hamper, and grab utensils and napkins, place them on the coffee table in the living room. I pour us glasses of water and place them on coasters in the living room. I get my collar ready, and She calls me in to help bring our dinner to the coffee table. “Yes Ma’am,” I reply, and quickly go and bring in our dishes. I then kneel in front of Her, present my collar. She kisses me, I move my head so She can fasten my collar. I sit next to Her and await Her first bite of the meal. She made us a seafood dish, salmon with rice and asparagus. It smells delicious, and with Her approval, I am allowed to eat. It tastes as delicious as it smells, and I have a hard time not devouring the meal.

After the meal, I grab our dirty plates and put them in the dishwasher. “I think we should have some ice cream, and I’d like a glass of whiskey,” S says. “Yes Ma’am,” I reply. I get two small bowls, scoop up some ice cream, and bring them out to us. I go to the cabinet and grab a whiskey glass. I put a few cubes in, pour the whiskey, then the ginger liqueur. I get on one knee, present the glass to Her. “Thank you, boy,” She says with a smile. I wait for Her to take a sip, then I proceed to eat my ice cream.

We finish our dessert, so I bring the bowls to the dishwasher, and come back. “My feet are sore,” and I take the cue by grabbing the container of foot cream nearby. I move the coffee table out of the way. Then, I position myself at Her feet. I begin to apply the cream, slowly massaging Her feet, rubbing my thumbs into Her heels and soles. I gently rub Her toes, and not able to resist, I kiss her big toe. I get caught up in the moment, and I find myself put Her toe in my mouth. I massage the bottom of Her toe with my tongue, sucking on it, while rubbing the bottom and sides of Her foot with my hand. I hear soft, gentle moans escape from Her mouth. “Good boy,” She whispers out while I make circling motions with my thumbs in the sole of Her foot. I then proceed to give Her other toes the same treatment, and I feel Her leg relax more. I decide to switch to Her other foot. I mimic the same pattern of rubbing, and sucking on Her toes on that foot as well. Her leg relaxes more, and I look up and see Her smiling, eyes looking relaxed. I feel accomplished, bringing Her to this level of rest is an achievement.

She looks at me, at Her feet, and reaches under the end table. She pulls out some rope that just happened to be there. “Lie on your back, feet and hands up,” she says. “Yes Ma’am,” I reply. She grabs my right leg, and begins to wrap the rope around my leg, forming a futomomo. Once completed, She does the same thing to my left leg. She then binds my wrists and hands together. She connects my hands to my ankles, and thankfully I’m flexible enough to manage this position. On my back, I feel like a weeble, because I can wobble around a bit. S gets some pillows out, and says “Lay face down, facing me.” “Yes Ma’am,” I reply, and I roll myself around to Her desired position. My arms and shins are resting comfortably on the pillows, and I move my head so I am looking to one side. I feel S grab my cock and balls, and I feel more rope, rubbing against the base. She is tying up my cock, and while I can’t see Her work, I have an idea of what She is doing. I feel a long piece of the rope drop on my back, and She gets back to the couch. “My perfect footstool,” She says. I have been transformed into a piece of furniture. S says, “Alexa, play Mozart.” The music begins, and she grabs the loose rope. I feel an occasional tug of the rope, my tightly bound boy bits flopping back against my ass. I let out a groan. “What was that?” Another tug. “Thank You, Ma’am,” I groan. I feel my cock growing in excitement. S raises her glass of whiskey, takes a sip, and gently places it on my lower back, not letting go. I feel the cold condensation on my skin. “Ooh!” Another tug. I feel the droplets of water from her glass collecting on my lower back, spreading down my back in one direction, toward my neck, and the rest going down the crack of my ass. It sent a shiver through my body, and S tugged a few more times. She sat back on the couch, put her feet on my back, keeping the rope by her, while playing on her phone.

Clothing

I have thought a lot lately about clothing, and provided an entry or two about it earlier on with this blog. I feel like it should be gender neutral, like restrooms should be. People who identify as male, female, and everything in between should be allowed to wear what they want. I own a kilt, and the times I’ve worn it out, I enjoyed the freedom my legs and boy bits had. I would like to wear a skirt, or even a dress. Women’s underwear has a variety of styles, where men’s underwear has a handful. Why not make the varieties available to all? I wore fishnets for the first time to pride this year, I loved how they looked on my legs, and I would wear fishnets again. Shit, I’d even consider trying out stockings, or thigh high socks. Earlier, I did a search on gender neutral underwear. I found an article that mentioned a few top brands, which also include gender neutral swimwear and lingerie- two brands I happened to follow on Instagram before reading the article. The styles are intriguing, the prices are a bit steep though- but I expect that from clothing lines that cater to a very specific clientele. If I do decide to purchase from any of these brands, I’ll definitely review them.

Piercing Progress

So, I know I posted about my piercings earlier this month (or last month), but I thought I’d speak more about them. My left nipple has reached what I would call fully healed. There is no crusty residue, and can move without having to clean it. The right nipple has been healing more. It’s still a bit sore, no more blood, still a very small amount of crusty residue. Beginning of the month, I realized that there had to be something that was causing the right nipple so much difficulty with healing, and I narrowed it down to the position I sleep at night. I am most comfortable facing down, favoring my right side, which explains why the right nipple has taken longer. I must have put too much weight on my right side. I’ve been doing a lot to keep the weight off my right side, trying to sleep more on my left side as well. I’m pretty confident that it will be fully healed sometime in mid-October, fingers crossed.

Scenario

This post is not about actual events. It is fictional involving myself and my partner. Jodie is not real, just a fictional character I made up. This is just something that I have been visualizing in my mind.

I come home and get undressed as usual, present my collar to S for Her to put on me. We eat dinner, watch an episode of a show. S’ phone vibrates, it is a text message. She reads it, instructs me to go upstairs to the bedroom, and to get my cuffs, rope, butt plug, a strap-on harness and dildo to fit in it. With a “Yes Ma’am,” I head upstairs and follow Her instructions.

Before I get in the bedroom, I step in the bathroom and use my bulb to douche. Once I have finished, I go in the bedroom, and lube myself and insert my butt plug. I then place everything She requested on the bed, and kneel at the foot of the bed, awaiting orders. She comes up shortly, grabs the cuffs off the bed. She motions to me to get up, and then She puts the cuffs on my wrists and ankles. She reaches for the strap-on harness, puts the dildo in, and hands it to me. “You get to wear this tonight.” I look at Her, slightly surprised, and reply “yes Ma’am.” I put on the harness, adjust the straps so it fits properly, and wait for Her approval. I can feel the pressure of the dildo and material behind it pressing against my cock. She inspects, and approves. She then hands me a towel. “Place this on the bed, and then lie down on the bed.” “Yes Ma’am.” I place the towel on the bed, lie on it, and She begins unraveling the rope I laid out for Her. She begins to slide each rope through the loops of my cuffs, so I can be tied to each post of the bed. A bit aroused, I feel my cock push against the strap-on. I hear S’ phone vibrate. She checks it, then looks at me with a smile. “Our guest has arrived, I’ll be right back.” She goes downstairs, answers the door. I concentrate on hearing the conversation, sounds like a male voice, but I could be wrong. I hear the rustling of clothing, and then I hear two sets of footsteps coming upstairs and into the bedroom. S comes in with a leash handle in Her hand, the other end connected to a naked person’s collar. “Say hello to Jody, my new pet. Jody is not the real name, as they have chosen a gender neutral name to go by, and while Jody has male genitals, they identify as non-binary, using they/them pronouns.” I waved to Jody “Nice to meet you, I’d shake your hand, but I’m tied up at the moment.” We all laughed.

I observed Jody. They had a build similar to mine, about my height. I would say they’re a little heavier than me, and S must have had Them shave before arriving because they were clean shaven around the genitals and face. They have short, curly dark hair, brown eyes, and their skin was olive tone, like a slight suntan to it. Their collar was similar to mine, and they had cuffs as well. I looked more at their cock, and noticed unlike myself, they’re circumcised.

S shut the door behind Jody. She attached a carabiner to their wrist cuffs to keep them from moving their arms. “You’re going to position yourself over Hobbes’ head, and I’ll be over his crotch. I’ll instruct you further on what to do.” “Yes Ma’am,” Jody and I said in unison. I watched as Jody positioned their knees just above my shoulders, their genitals right in my face. I caught a faint scent of baby powder, they must powder their parts after showering, much like I do.

Shortly after Jodie got positioned, S approached the bed, placing a bottle of lube and one of Her favorite knives next to me. She opened the bottle, applied the lube on the dildo, and looked at us with a smile. She caressed Jodie’s head, guiding them to Her bare breasts, which encouraged them to lick and suckle on Her nipples. She touched Herself a little, then went to grab Her vibrator. It looks like a hitachi, but pocket sized. She placed it next to the knife, climbed onto the bed, and positioned Herself over me, right where the dildo was awaiting Her. She guided it inside her, and I could feel the weight of Her pressing against my genitals. It was a pleasurable pressure, like when She would press Her foot on my cock many times before. I could also feel the pressure of the butt plug against my prostate. Once She got a rhythm going, She grabbed the knife, poked me around my nipples, and said “open your mouth and receive Jodie’s balls.” “Yes Ma’am,” I replied, and opened my mouth. I felt Jodie’s balls in my mouth, and got a spark of arousal, they were hairless, and smooth. I ran a tongue between and around them to get a feel about them. I could hear Jodie moan in pleasure. S’ next command was aimed toward Jodie. “Rub Hobbes’ nipples,” She said. “Yes Ma’am,” they replied. I began moaning more, which surely sent vibrations through Jodie’s balls. S continued to ride the dildo, causing the butt plug to move around inside me, and the arousal from everything caused my cock to grow and press against the strap-on. S wasn’t even close to done with us. She took the knife, and gently began tracing lines into my chest, moving toward my belly. The sensation was putting my over the edge, as well as Jodie, as I became more vocal, they could feel the vibrations through their balls. I could feel their cock grow on my chin. I also felt some movement on it, as S began using the knife on their cock. Their moans were turning into yelps and screams, and their fingers began pinching my nipples. It was a chain reaction of moans and screams.

Suddenly, S stopped, “I didn’t tell you two you could cum. Not yet, at least.” She took Jodie’s balls out of my mouth, squeezed them with Her hand. There was a small amount of precum that dripped out, and landed on my lips. “Taste it, boy,” she said to me. I licked my lips, savoring the salty taste of Jodie’s juices. Their cock twitched a bit, softening, and going erect, eventually the erection fading. She instructed Jodie to get off the bed and watch as she continues to fuck the dildo. The movements grew harder and faster, I could feel my balls getting smacked by the impact of the strap-on harness, and the plug poking away at my sweet spot. My hole would tighten, and I felt my cock grow, trying to peek outside the harness. I felt the foreskin stay, but the head continued to grow and exposed itself. I leaned up to take one of S’ breasts in my mouth, began suckling on it, which encouraged Her to go harder, and her moans grew louder. She grabbed Her vibrator, placed it right above the dildo, and set it to Her preferred setting. I could feel the vibrations throughout my crotch, but more importantly, it was rubbing Her clit. Moans turned to screams, thrusts harder, until She climaxed. She got off me quickly, placed the vibrator under my balls. No longer than a minute, She took the vibrator off and said “not yet, My boy.” She untied my ankles from the bed posts, and went to a drawer.

She pulled out two carabiners and hooked my ankle cuffs to my wrist cuffs, leaving me spread open. “Release it,” she said, as she tapped the base of the plug in my ass. She then reached for the vibrating prostate stimulator I kept next to my bedside, put some lube on, and gently inserted. She observed my moans and gasps as She moved the toy inside me, eventually locating my prostrate. I wasn’t hard at this point, but I wanted to be. She pulled back my foreskin, exposing my head, and I could see some precum begin to leak out. She gripped my balls in Her free hand, squeezing and massaging them in Her hand. I could feel everything, so much more intensely. I opened my mouth and positioned my head better to catch my juices, as they were slowly coming out, in thick strings. I’m pretty sure She worked me to an orgasm. “Don’t swallow.” I obeyed. She motioned to Jodie to come over. She unhooked my cuffs, “Kiss.” We kissed, my tongue met theirs, and they took my cum in their mouth. They began touching me, my body shaking from pleasure, still not fully recovered from the prostate play. My hole loosened up, and I felt the toy slip out. “I think you have had enough right now.” S untied my wrists, then ordered me to put on my harness. I put it on and we all went downstairs to the living room.

When we went downstairs, there was a massage table set up in the living room. “Jodie brought a massage table and is giving me a full massage. You can handle my feet,” S tells me, as she tugs on my harness strap, pinches both of my nipples. “Yes Ma’am,” I nod and gasp in pleasure. S gets up on the table, facing down. Jodie goes into their bag. It looks like a briefcase, filled with essential oils and lotions. “Here, this is for Her feet,” they hand me a tube of foot cream. It’s Shea cocoa butter, and the label says it prevents dryness and cracking. I apply some in my hand and rub to warm it up before applying to Her feet. Jodie has a spread of oils and lotions ready. I begin working on S’ feet, and Jodie gets to work on Her shoulders and back. “Mmmmmmmm,” S lets out a soft moan. She is pleased with Her subs giving Her the best massage she has had in a long time. Work has been very stressful as of late, and Jodie tells Her of the tightness and stress they feel in Her body. “Should I work the calves and thighs as well?” I ask. “Nope, I have this under control,” Jodie says. The massage carries on for another fifteen minutes after I finish with S’ feet. During that time, I try to keep myself occupied. “Would you like some water, Ma’am?” I ask. “Yes, boy. Put a cucumber slice in it too.” “Yes Ma’am.” I walk to the kitchen, get a glass and fill it with water, put one cucumber slice in. I set it on the coaster on the table next to the couch. Jodie is finishing up the massage, and helps S off of the table. “Hobbes, go fetch me a t-shirt and sweatpants.” “Yes Ma’am,” I say, and go grab them from the bedroom. I come back down with them in my hand. S puts out one leg, and I get the hint and proceed to put one pant leg on, and I do the same with the other leg as She puts it out. I hand Jodie the t-shirt, and they put it on S. Fully clothed, S goes to sit on the couch. We both stand there, two mostly naked servants awaiting orders, as S drinks Her water. “You two may have some water too, but before that, I would like a glass of white wine- stemless glass.” She says to me. “Yes Ma’am,” I say, and grab a glass from the cabinet and pour some Chardonnay. I come over with the glass, on one knee, presenting it to S. “Thank you,” She smiles, taking the glass. I stay on my knee until She takes a sip. She slowly takes a sip, then places the glass on the coaster next to the water. I get up and go pour us some water. “Jodie, could you move the coffee table over a bit?” S says. “Yes Ma’am,” they said, and they move it. I put our glasses on the coasters on the coffee table. I then grab two pillows off the couch and set them in front of S. “You may sit,” She says. We both sit on our individual pillows, and I hand S the remote. She finds something on one of the streaming services, and we rest our heads on Her lap. She slowly pets our heads, I feel myself slowly begin to nod off, and place my hand on Jodie’s thigh. “This is wonderful,” I say in my mind.

Chastity

8/18, my birthday, was the last time I came. I know it’s not very long compared to some people, but what kind of feelings, externally and internally, do you feel when you go some time without release? Do the sexual thoughts, desires, fantasies arise more frequently, intensely? Do you get hard a lot, leak precum, or have wet dreams? This isn’t the longest I’ve gone, but some of the feelings I get internally are the more frequent and intense thoughts, desires, and fantasies. I get hard a lot more frequently as of late, and drip precum in my underwear over the course of the day. Sometimes I think a prostate milking session with my toy might help. That is up to S to decide. I do enjoy the feeling of being denied release though, almost like telling my I haven’t earned it yet. Last night, S rested Her foot on my cock, and I felt it begin to grow. She moved it away when it got hard enough, and I apologized.

CBT

I mentioned a while back about CBT, and my growing interest in it. I don’t think I ever went into full detail about it, maybe just a couple things. Before moving in with S, She gave me some clothespins to play with. I would put them on my nipples, which is the usual spot to put them. Since I am uncut, I also put them on my foreskin- relaxed and pushed back.

I have found that I enjoy the pressure of S’ foot on my cock, Her toes teasing it, slowly growing under Her foot. The feeling of my growing tip escaping the foreskin gives me a feeling of vulnerability and nakedness that turns me on even more.

I also enjoy when She holds and squeezes my balls. Maybe while squeezing, She might tap them with an open hand.

Things I haven’t explored yet that have me interested are sounding, and any form of squeezing/adding pressure to my genitals. I also would like to explore more knife play. S did it once to me while blindfolded, and I remember it so well and revisit that memory quite often. As S has mentioned to me, our house has thin walls and sound travels in the neighborhood, so options are limited to what we can do. One thing I was looking into was getting those foam egg crates to absorb the sound. I think it might be worth looking into.